It's a...........................

BABY!!

We've made it half way! Can you believe it? I don't know that I do quite yet. I'm getting more and more confident with this pregnancy after so many losses, but at the same time a part of me is constantly holding back. And I'm told from other women who have experienced the same that it's pretty normal to always be a little reserved.

But reservations or not, I'm fairly certain that THIS pregnancy WILL indeed lead to a baby when all is said and done. :) Which is really exciting after the last year and a half.

So now that we're twenty weeks we've had our big ultrasound. And as you've probably figured out, we chose not to find out the gender. Well, I decided. We both wanted to know with Payson, but I was up for the surprise with Jack. Jason couldn't handle the suspense, so we negotiated. I made Jason promise that if we found out with Jack, that regardless of gender, we would be surprised for our third.

That promise was made FOUR years ago, but Jason was still hoping up until the absolute last second that I would change my mind. Of course, he was surprised when I didn't. And now the ultrasound tech has probably forgotten whatever she did or didn't see and it isn't written anywhere, so no one will know until July!!

I'm pretty excited for that moment of suspense when Jason can finally take a peek and tell me what this loved little one is. I think that will be a pretty spectacular moment. And since we've never done the surprise thing before it's really fun to change things up this time around.

Anyway, our appointment went really well. Everything went great. Baby looked beautiful and was measuring on the large side, which didn't surprise me in the slightest. We make big babies. :) (Jack was 8 lb 9 oz at 6 days early. Payson was the biggest preemie to have ever existed. At 4 1/2 weeks early she was 6 lb 14 oz!! She was such a giant compared to the 3 and 4 pound babies in the NICU beds next to her.)

We got some funny little shots of baby's arms. One clenched in a masculine fist:

With the other draped dramatically and daintily across his/her forehead:

Giving us no indication of whether or not this is a him or a her. :)

We also got a peek at the cute little piggies we'll be counting in just a few short months:

But mostly I was just thrilled to see this sweet little profile and know that everything was okay. Heart beating away, everything growing as it should, and baby squirming plenty to reassure mama. :)

I seriously can't wait to kiss those sweet little lips!!!! I'm teary eyed just thinking about those

first few moments. This little one has had us hoping and praying and waiting for such a long time. He/she is so loved already! Oh baby, I hope you know how much we adore you! Your big brother and big sister are just elated to meet you! They have so much they want to show and teach you! Some good...some naughty. :) But they love you just as much as your daddy and I do! Keep on growing in there. I'm enjoying every little flutter and kick. Not the heartburn and aches and stretching so much, but I'd go through so much worse for you! We love you and can't wait to meet you!!!