Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Weekly Weigh In - Week 1, and the ER

Well, for the most part it's been a great week! I posted last Tuesday that I was at 184 pounds. Yuck. When I woke up Tuesday morning I weighed myself again. 182. I love that you lose weight over night without doing anything. :) I figure it doesn't count if I didn't work for it, so my official starting weight will be 182.

I got my rear out of bed at 5 am Tuesday morning, had a bowl of oatmeal with lots of fresh berries, got a couple of things done, and then ran for a mere 20 minutes on the elliptical machine. Kind of a bummer when I was up to running 40 minutes before, but I decided that I don't care because at least I'm doing SOMETHING! I have continued throughout the week to get myself up every morning at 5 (which is ridiculously hard for me, but when else will I be able to workout?!), and ate healthy, but still yummy meals and snacks. Within two days I felt so much better than I have lately!! It's so hard for me to start doing this, even when I know how good I'll feel, and then once I start all I can think is, "I love how I feel! Why haven't I been doing this all along?!" Hopefully I'll remember that the next time I feel like giving up!

I have done the elliptical every MWF, and a weight training dvd every TThS. Love Sunday morning breaks. Plus I let myself sleep in until 6. :) Last week I just did my 20 minutes on the elliptical and a 30 minute weight video. This week it's 30 minutes on the elliptical and a 50 minute weight video. I hurt. The good hurt. Love it! Although, I have yet to workout this morning, and I'm coming up with every excuse to postpone it because I know there will be pain. (Don't worry, I'll do it.)

I have found several new healthy recipes and have tried a few this week (all of which I posted on my other blog). I love finding healthy versions of the stuff I already love! Like lasagna! I found a GREAT lasagna recipe! So delicious! I ate a small salad first and then had 1 piece of lasagna and was completely stuff! And it was amazing! I felt like I was indulging, but I wasn't! Those are the best tricks to sticking with it.

I've been enjoying cooking again too. When I make the same things over and over again I get bored and then I quit and we ended up eating out way too much. So I do a little online exploring here and there and I end up trying all kinds of fun new things! Like making my own lasagna from scratch. Or like cooking with bulgur! And today I'm making a hot and sour soup which has bamboo shoots which I've never cooked with before. Then tomorrow night I'm cooking a Moroccan soup that has some weird ingredients that I'd never even heard of (like garam masala). Things that used to seem intimidating to cook with (like eggplant) are becoming fun and familiar!

So far I've met or exceeded most of my goals. I guzzle 96 ounces of water or more each day. I'm working out my 6 days and definitely reaching my calorie goals. And I've lost more than the 2 pounds per week this week. (Although I'm sure a great deal was water weight and that number will slow down in the next week or two). As for sleeping 8 hours each night, well...that one's been tough. I either have had to much to do and gotten to bed a little late, or the kids wake up, or something else happens. But I'm averaging seven or so hours each night. I'm sleeping better because of the exercise, so I wake up feeling pretty good. And that's really what the goal was about anyway. :)

As for numbers, well, I'm pretty excited about them! I weighed in this morning at 175.5 pounds, that's a 6 1/2 pound loss in 7 days! And My BMI is down from 29.7 to 28.3. Wahoo!! Of course it's not what it was a few months ago when I was doing so well, but I'm definitely headed in the right direction!

The best part of all of this is the way that it has affected my everyday life. I get up and get moving. I have more energy to get the millions of things done each day that are waiting on my to do list. I'm so productive lately! I love it! My stress level is easing, and between counseling, medication, and a healthy diet and exercise program my anxiety is way down! Don't get me wrong, it's still there! But it's becoming so manageable. I'm really feeling like myself again.

Now that's not to say life is perfect. Because it's not. Let's take last night for example. I had such a busy day yesterday. And I managed to stay on top of everything. I was pretty proud of myself! I finally the kids fed and bathed and we had scriptures and prayer, so I sat down to fold some laundry and watch Biggest Loser until it was time to put the kids to sleep (at 8). At 8, I had a couple of things left to fold from a load of laundry and was just about to finish and put the kids to sleep. They were chasing each other around the house and laughing. Until Jack slipped on the linoleum and slammed his head on the floor.

He's at that age where he constantly has a bruise on his head from one thing or another. Most of the time he gets up and laughs it off. If not, I hold him for a minute, kiss him better, and it's over. But last night he couldn't catch his breath. It completely knocked the wind out of him. After about 30 seconds (which feels like 10 years when your baby isn't breathing) he caught his breath and started to cry. But it wasn't a normal cry. It was a weird sound. I can't even describe it. He went completely green and just sat with me for twenty minutes. Not normal for my boy.

So we headed to the ER. After waiting for 2 1/2 hours, we headed home. Jack had a concussion. Yuck. Luckily, by the time the doctor saw him he was acting more normal. They told me to give him Tylenol (not ibuprofen, apparently it will make the brain bleed if you have a concussion, who'd have thought!), that I could let him sleep, and that if he threw up more than one time to bring him in immediately.

He woke up fine this morning. And although I was frustrated with waiting around for what felt like all night long, I was glad I went in, if only for my own peace of mind.

The bummer was that my baby was hurt, the wait was irritating, I had to drive 20 minutes home at 11 at night, and I miss Biggest Loser. Also still had to wake up at 5 to work out. The good news is that Jack is fine. And although I let myself sleep in half an hour, I still got up at 5:30am with only 6 short hours of sleep.

Well, there you have it. Here's to a crazy, busy, healthy, happy week behind me, and another one ahead of me! And it's Conference Weekend! Yay!! I love conference weekend! Although I have a ton of stuff to get done in between sessions. Yikes.

So, how have you all been doing? And seriously, share any yummy healthy meal ideas!! I don't know what to make this week!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Back at it!

During the first few months of the year I did so well staying healthy and losing weight. I was gaining strength and endurance and feeling REALLY good about myself. I was setting goals and holding myself accountable. And then I let it all go.

I've tried a few times to get back to it. It hasn't happened. I have gained back every pound, plus a few. I feel really lousy. I've made loads of excuses for myself.

So here I am, holding myself accountable to you once again. It worked well the first time! :)

But this time I'm laying all of my cards on the table. This has been a safe place for me. No judgment and loads of support. So here I go!

As of tonight I weigh 184.5 pounds. Yup. That's a lot. My frame should not have to carry this many pounds. My BMI is 29.7, considered overweight. Only 0.2 away from obese. Yikes! That scares me. When I was doing well I was about that far away from the healthy range.

For me, the healthy range is between 114 and 154 pounds. That's quite a range! My goal is set for 120 pounds. Some people might think that's too low, but it's what I feel is a HEALTHY weight for ME. Not all women in my height and age range, but for ME.

Numbers aside, I'm setting new goals. You know my long term weight goal. My short term goals are to drink at least 64 ounces of water a day, get 8 hours of sleep a night (if the kids will cooperate!), workout 6 days a week, consume between 1200 and 1500 calories per day, lose 2 pounds per week, try at least one new healthy recipe per week, and stop eating out.

Those are all things that I have found helpful to me. And next week I'll add a few more goals to the plan. Maybe some more specific goals. Right now, I just need to get going. I need to get back into the habit of taking care of myself. I am so much happier when I do! It helps my anxiety and depression, it helps me to stay productive throughout the day, and it helps me to feel sexy!! And who doesn't want to feel sexy every now and then?!

Join me if you want! I love support. And although I may not always be the best at implementing them, I have LOADS of ideas and tips for healthy living!! :) And I'll be updating my Scrawny Chef blog again!! Yay for sharing recipes!! I have a whole list of new ones to try!

I'm tired of my clothes fitting tighter. I tired of getting tired doing simple activity. I'm tired of feeling disappointed in myself. So here's to not waiting for Monday or for New Year's! Here's to making a fresh start happen NOW!!

P.S. This may or may not have a tiny bit to do with the new season of Biggest Loser starting up. :) LOVE THAT SHOW!

Monday, September 21, 2009

I've been having a hard time the last month or so with my depression and anxiety. It finally got bad enough that I asked Jason to take some time off of work so that I could get control of things again. So he did and I scheduled a few doctor's appointments. Friday morning I met with a new doctor and was feeling pretty good about the things he had suggested to help me start feeling "normal" again.

After the appointment we went home and were trying to think of what we should do for the weekend. We spontaneously decided that we needed a break from life, made a few calls, threw together an overnight bag, and headed to Park City!

We found a great deal online at the Park City Peaks Hotel and checked in around six. We usually end up staying with family or friends when we travel, so the idea of a hotel was magical to the kids. :) They were bouncing all over the room. It was so fun to watch them get excited about the idea of sleeping in the same room as mom and dad and seeing the tv and exploring the bathroom. It wasn't even a fancy hotel, but to them it was incredible!

First thing they wanted to do was hit the pool, so as soon as everyone had their suits on I made them pose for a ridiculous photo. :)

The pool wasn't too fancy, but it was indoor and outdoor with a little channel you swam through to get from one to the other. The kids loved that! They loved going from the hot tub to the pool and jumping around and sliding down the stair railing into the water. It was so nice to just relax and have fun, just the four of us! I love watching my kids laugh like that and seeing them play with their daddy. They love him so much!

After swimming, we went back to the room, showered and put on jammies. Jack jumped on the bed,

and I realized that the ONE THING I had forgotten to pack was an elastic for my hair. There was no point in styling it since I was just going to sleep on it and ruin it, so I just let it air dry and figured I'd wet it down the next morning before I got ready. Forgetting an elastic may not seem like a big deal to most of you, but for those of us with ridiculously naturally curly hair, THIS is the result:

Pretty, huh? Anyway, after showering we ordered dessert from the Grub Steak Restaurant and had it delivered to our room. We splurged and got the New York Style Cheesecake with fresh Strawberries, Chocolate Mud Pie with slivered almonds, and the Chocolate Suicide Cake with Raspberry Coulis. So yummy!! I wish I had remembered to take pictures of the desserts. Jack crashed before it arrived, so Payson, Jason and I dug in and watched tv until we were ready for bed. :)

The next morning the kids and Jason watched tv while they waited for me to tame my mane. Look at that beautiful girl! I can't believe how big she's getting! And what about that hunk of a husband I have?! It really doesn't get better than him. You should all be so, so jealous.

We checked out of the hotel and headed to breakfast at Einstein Bros, Bagels. Delish! Then it was off to the Tanger Outlet Mall for a morning of shopping!! We don't have much out here and I need to start stocking up on Fall/Winter clothes for the kids before it gets much colder. Winters in the high desert are seriously frigid and can creep up anytime. Payson was really into the shopping this year. She kept asking if she could try things on. She's not at an age where she needs to try things on yet, but I let her anyway. It was fun to hear her opinions and to picture all our future mother-daughter shopping trips. I can't wait!!

We took breaks at the playgrounds between shops so the kids wouldn't get too bored. I rarely have cash on me, and had no change, but the kids really wanted to ride this little carousel. So I just grabbed the poles and started pulling it around instead. Who needs quarters, huh?!

After shopping my mom and dad and two little sisters met us at the Loco Lizard Cantina for lunch. More super delicious food!! And it was fun to visit.

After lunch we all headed over to the Park City Mountain Resort to play for the afternoon. Here's our little family and the backs of my family on the ski lift ride to the top of the Alpine Slide. The kids loved the super slow ride up. It was beautiful! The leaves were just started to change. But for some reason I get so nervous on ski lifts! How easily could that metal snap?! And we'd be plummeting to our deaths. It just freaks me out.

Here we are waiting to slide! On the left is Maren, my mom, and then my dad. On the right is Jason with Jack, Payson waiting for me to finish taking pictures and join her, and Madison. We all expected the ride to be a little more intense. Not so much. It was tons of fun for Payson and Jack, but the rest of us were slightly disappointed. Although I was very interested in counting all the dead crickets and grasshoppers on the way down. We even ran over a little chipmunk on the track. So, so sad. And so, so gross!

After the Alpine Slide we hit the Alpine Coaster, which, if you remember, Jason and I did for our anniversary getaway in May. Jack wasn't old enough so Jason volunteered to wait with him while the rest of us went on the ride. I really thought Payson would be more nervous but she was perfectly calm and actually LOVED the ride!! I had so much fun listening to her the whole way down. She loved the speed and the curves and the little bumps and drops. I know this isn't the greatest picture because of the sun, but Jason caught her waving as we were coming in.

Everyone seemed much more impressed by the coaster than the slide. It really is a lot of fun! Then we took Payson and Jack on some of the kid rides while we waited for Jason to go on the zip line.

Maren was so cute being silly with the kids on the rides, trying to make it even more fun for them. I snapped this photo of her on the little space train and it cracked me up!

Then they rode the airplanes,

And the carousel. Jack was very excited about his Zebra. And Madie and Maren were super awesome riding their ponies backwards. :)

And finally, Jason coming in on the zip line. It looked like the most fun, but incidentally, it wasn't as exciting as it looked. Turns out the Alpine Coaster was the big hit of the day.

We had such a fun weekend! It was the perfect little getaway. We got to forget about life and stress and everything and just be together as a family. And we even made it home at a decent hour. We got everything unpacked and got to bed early and got a decent night's sleep before a chaotic day at church the next morning. :) Not so much fun when only half of the presidency is there and half of the teachers don't show up and don't have subs. Ugh. But oh well! Life happens and we got through it!

Now we're back to real life at home. Payson is having a blast at preschool and she starts ballet tomorrow. And tomorrow is also Tuesday morning playgroup and then library story time on Thursday, which Jack loves! And mommy is busy preparing for the upcoming Primary Program. Hope you're having as much fun as we are!!

Friday, September 11, 2009

My heart is aching for the Bodily family right now. Hours ago they lost their husband/father in a car accident. I keep imagining what Katie must have been thinking when she realized her sweet companion was gone. When she realized she would be left alone with those four beautiful boys for the remainder of this life. I have no doubt that their family will be reunited one day. And how grateful I am for the sealing power! But right now I let my tears fall for my friends. I am mourning his loss with them. And as I'm alone tonight, this blog will be the one who hears my sorrow. How I wish I could take the pain from those sweet, tenderhearted boys right now! How I wish I could stop the pain and grief that Katie will endure in this life! Every feeling in me right now feels so cliche. And so trivial. The sadness I am feeling at the loss of a family friend is nothing compared to what they are feeling right now. Please pray for this family tonight. Pray that their hearts will heal quickly and that they will be comforted. Pray that Katie will have strength as she mothers her sons alone. And pray that the boys will be strengthened by the testimony and legacy their father left them. Pray that their testimonies of our Heavenly Father's plan will sustain them and bring them peace. Pray that His spirit will never leave their side.


I have been meaning to post for way too long and just haven't found the time to do it. Has it really been a whole month? And now this week I'm sick. Ugh.

I've been through more tissues than I could count, several cans of soup, and seven seasons of Friends. The kids have destroyed the house and I just don't care. I'll either get to it when I'm feeling better or leave it for Jason. :)

Anyway, hope you're feeling better than I am! I'm going back to this:

If you can name this episode, ... you'll be the coolest person ever.