Wednesday, December 21, 2011

See Mother, Funny Funny Mother

We have a book of Christmas stories to count down to Christmas. I made it one year at a Relief Society activity. On December 1st we replace our usual bedtime stories with the stories from this Christmas book. Some stories explain Christmas traditions and symbols, some speak of the true meaning of Christmas, and others are simple, silly anecdotes.

I forget the stories every year until I'm reading them again. It's fun to feel like you're reading a new story every year. The following is one of my very favorites in the book. Mostly because of it's accuracy. This is exactly how I feel just before Christmas. :)

See Mother, Funny Funny Mother
Author Unknown

See Mother laugh. Mother is happy.
Mother is happy about Christmas.
Mother has many plans. Mother has many plans for Christmas.
Mother is organized. Mother smiles all the time.
Funny, funny Mother.

See Mother. See Mother smile. Mother is happy.
The shopping is all done. See the children watch TV.
Watch, children, watch.
See the children change their minds.
See them ask for different toys.
Look, look. Mother is not smiling.
Funny, funny Mother.

See Mother. See Mother sew.
Mother will make dresses.
Mother will make robes.
Mother will make shirts.
See Mother put the zipper in wrong.
See mother sew the dress on the wrong side.
See Mother cut the skirt too short.
See Mother put the material away until January.
Loo, look. See Mother take a tranquilizer.
Funny, funny Mother.

See Mother. See Mother buy raisins and nuts.
See Mother buy candied pineapple and powdered sugar.
See Mother buy flour and dates and spices,
And pecans and brown sugar and bananas.
Look, look. Mother is mixing everything together,
See the children press out cookies.
See the flour on their elbows.
See the cookies burn. See the cake fall.
See the children pull taffy. See Mother pull her hair.
See Mother clean the kitchen with the garden hose.
Funny, funny Mother.

See Mother. See Mother wrap presents.
See Mother look for the end of the scotch tape roll.
See Mother bite her fingernails. See Mother go.
See Mother go to the store 12 times in one hour.
Go Mother go. See Mother go faster. Run Mother run.
See Mother trim the tree.
See Mother have a party.
See Mother make popcorn.
See Mother wash the walls.
See Mother scrub the rug.
See Mother tear up the organized plan.
See Mother forget gift for Uncle Harold.
See Mother get hives.
Go Mother go.
See the faraway look in Mother's eyes.
Mother has become disorganized.
Mother has become disoriented.
Funny, funny Mother.

It is finally Christmas morning.
See the happy family.
See Father smile. Father is happy.
Smile Father smile.
Father loves fruit cake.
Father loves Christmas pudding.
Father loves all the new neckties.
Look, look. See the happy children.
See the children's toys.
Santa was very good to the children.
The children will remember this Christmas.

See Mother. Mother is slumped in a chair.
Mother is crying uncontrollably.
Mother does not look well.
Mother has ugly dark circles under her bloodshot eyes.
Everyone helps Mother to her bed.
See Mother sleep quietly under heavy sedation.
See Mother smile.
Funny, funny Mother.


Nicole said...

That is so funny! I totally love it. Thanks for sharing!!!

Liz said...

Nice! I'll share it with my mom. Hopefully it will make her feel less crazy if she knows she is part of many crazies!