Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Posts Coming.

First I didn't have the photos. They were on my mom's computer. Then I just didn't feel up to posting (see last post). Then it was Christmas. Then my computer got an awesome virus spewing porn sites all over the screen on Christmas Day. That was fun. (I HATE PORN). So now that everything seems to have calmed down, I need to catch up. And I will. Sometime. Maybe it will be my New Year's resolution.

In the mean time, thank you for your love and support and especially your prayers. They have been so very needed and so appreciated. I am doing okay. I won't lie and tell you I'm good. But I know I'll be okay, eventually. I am growing close to my Heavenly Father and Savior through this trial. I am learning and understanding so much more. My testimony is ever increasing.

I am still sad. And confused. And emotional. This loss has been so much more painful than I could have ever expected. I don't understand how women go through it privately, without love, support, and prayers from neighbors, family and friends. I don't understand why this isn't a topic more widely discussed. Especially when it so common and when talking is so healing.

My faith is comforting and I know it will be what ultimately heals my heart. It brings me peace in my darkest moments. I am still allowed to hurt and grieve.

If I haven't commented on your post, answered your email, or returned your phone call, I'm so sorry. I know it's selfish of me. I'm trying to put the pieces of me back together. And in the mean time others are being neglected. All I can say is I'm sorry. I am hoping that I will feel normal again soon and will be happily commenting, replying, and calling.

Until then, I hope you had a wonderful Christmas! And here's to an incredible New Year! I love you all!

5 comments:

Lali Johnson said...

Take all the time you need McKenna, and just know that we all love you.

I hope you had a Merry Christmas.

Mandi said...

I Love you!! :)

Abete and Tara Batini said...

My friend...we both endure trials causing us heartache and growth. Your words to me have always lifted me..even if just for a moment from my sorrows. I think all I can say is that I love you and our Father in Heaven loves you. Continue to search out his love and strength even as you feel pain and sadness. Take the time and energy you need for you. However, one of the greatest ways to allow our mind to forget our pain (if only for a moment) is to serve and do for someone else. It may not be today or tomorrow, but I know this to be true, one day you will feel comforted through your comfort and service to another.

Love you mucho!!!
Tara

Trish Griffee said...

you will get through it. It feels like the whole world is still going on with out you and no one understands the pain but I promise it will get better. And if it happens again you will understand and know how to handle it. Love you, take your time and be as selfish as you need to be.

Dusti said...

Happy New Year!