You are all going to probably get sick of reading about my eating and exercising and weight and blah blah blah. But its my blog/journal and if it bores you then don't read it! :)
I planned to wake up bright and early this morning. Five AM. That way I could have lunch, get ready, read scriptures, and some other things before the kids were up. Then I could get them up and fed and ready and be out the door by 6:30 or 7. But that didn't happen. Kids were in and out of my bed all night and I didn't sleep well. So I hit the snooze button and we all slept in until nearly 8. Oops!
But we didn't let that stop us! We got up and had breakfast and read scriptures and all of that. Then I bundled up the kids and threw on my running shoes, grabbed my ipod and water, and we headed out the door!
We walked down the street to the park. At the park there is a trail that leads down the hill to a paved pathway that runs all through town and along the river. It's called the Green Belt. LOVE the greenbelt. We took lots of walks there last summer. It's beautiful, even when everything is dead and brown. And it's just peaceful! So we played some MJ tunes and walked/jogged up the trail and around until it brought us home.
The training schedule started me out with a 5 minute walk, then I jogged a minute, walked a minute, for about 20 minutes. Then another 5 minute walk to cool down. It ended up being a little over 30 minutes simply because we had to walk to the trail and walk home.
It was hard. Doable, but hard. It shouldn't be that hard for a 26 year old to do that. But I've completely let myself go since I got pregnant with Payson. The trail has hills, and I was pushing over 70 pounds of kid and stroller, so I'm giving myself credit for that. And I'm so glad that I actually started. For me, starting is one of the hardest parts.
But it also made me sad to realize how much I let myself go. Why haven't I taken better care of my body? This is the only one I get and I've just trashed it! Sure it could be worse, but it could be a LOT better. I will be a lot better.
I really do want this to be the end. I don't ever want to post again about how I'm starting over and how I've gained the weight back and I have so much work to do. I want this to be it. I want to get healthy and STAY healthy!! I really, really do! I know how to do it. I know what foods are healthy. I know how to have less healthy things in moderation. I know how to exercise. I know how to push my body, but not too hard. I know HOW to do it!! The thing I don't know is how to keep myself from quitting.
I need to understand myself better. I need to really study myself and figure out what I'm thinking when I give up and how to fight those thoughts. I LOVE how I feel when I'm being healthy. I love the feeling of planning and eating delicious HEALTHY meals. I love not eating until I'm stuffed sick. I love the energy I have. I love the self esteem I have when I do it. I love the endorphins from the workouts. I love seeing myself get stronger and smaller. I love the way that it affects the rest of my life. I stay on a better routine which is great for me AND for my kids. I am more productive during the day. I have more time to play with the kids because I'm not wasting time being lazy. I am happier! So what makes me want to give all of that up? What is it that I think is worth losing that happiness? Is food really that important to me?
Anyway, enough of that. So because I signed up for the 5K and am focusing on getting ready for that, I'm not sure if I'm going to do the bootcamp workouts in between. I want to, but I don't want to overwhelm myself with too much too soon. I guess I'll just see how I feel when I wake up tomorrow. Hopefully I will really want to do it. But if it feels overwhelming, then I'll just wait a week or two to add it in. We'll see.
Thanks for your support. It really makes a difference to me. It helps me to stay motivated. So thanks!! And keep wishing me luck! Because I think I'm going to need it every. single. day. :)
4 comments:
good for you for doing it even if you were behind schedule! gotta be a top on your priority list and that's awesome you did that today! keep it up! and keep in mind... the best thing to do for sore muscles is work them again! so if you are super sore tomorrow, the best thing to do tomorrow is workout! just some motivation! you can do it! and if you are at the beginning of the 12 week program, the workout is super short!
Goooooo McKenna!!!!! You are fantastic! Wonderful! Amazing! Terrific! Excellent! Astounding! Stunning! Awe-inspiring! Sensational! :) I'm proud of you. Keep it up. You're doing it for good this time. It does feel good to form the best habits, and that's what you are doing. You'll love running a 5K...it really is so rewarding! (I did feel like I ran a marathon, because to me, a 5K is MY marathon!) Way to be, girl! Miss you!
I love that you point out all of the things you love about being healthier! It's good to remember that it's not all soreness :)
I know this is way too late, but I just got around to reading the last three months of your posts. I want you to know that I am so sorry for you loss. It is so hard to recover, mentally and physically. I hope you are doing better. If you ever want to talk, I have been there too, three times and it helped to talk about it. Love you lots.
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